Money Matters
Money Matters
From Tension to Trust: Real Conversations About Money with Ericka Young
We unpack why money talks feel heavy and show how to make them safe, honest, and useful. Ericka Young shares her $90K debt payoff story, how “play money” reduced friction, and practical ways to teach kids about money without passing along anxiety.
• the real reasons couples avoid money talks
• using your money past to lower defensiveness
• saver vs spender dynamics and finding balance
• autonomy with transparency through “yours, mine, ours”
• simple openers and ground rules for hard talks
• when to call a coach or therapist
• practical ways to teach kids give, save, spend
• language shifts that reduce money stress at home
• small weekly check-ins that build trust
• Ericka’s work with financial education and coaching
You can see more from Ericka at erickayoung.com and forbetterandworth.com
Subscribe to the Money Matters Podcast, and visit neighborsfcu.org/financialwellness for more tools to help you build a strong financial future.
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Welcome to Money Matters, the podcast that focuses on how to use the money you have, make the money you need and save the money you want – brought to you by Neighbors Federal Credit Union.
The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only and any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice.
Welcome to Money Matters, the podcast that focuses on how to use the money you have, make the money you need, and save the money you want. Now, here is your host, Ms.
SPEAKER_00:Kim Chapman. Welcome to another edition of Money Matters, where we talk about how to use the money you have, make the money you need, and save the money you want. And the key word here is talk about money. It is such a difficult conversation sometimes. And so today we're going to talk about how do you have those money discussions? Because when you think about it, it impacts every relationship that you have. So whether you have a spouse, a partner, if you have kids, money impacts that relationship. So joining me today, because I can't have this conversation by myself, is Miss Erica Young, founder of Tailor Made Budgets. Good morning, Erica, and thank you for joining me.
SPEAKER_01:Good morning. So good to be here. And I love talking about money. So we are going to have a good.
SPEAKER_00:Some people don't like talking about money. I love talking about money. You love talking about money. So maybe by the end of this episode, we can convince other people that it's not such a bad conversation to have.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Actually, that's my hope, right? Is to normalize the conversation and make it one that is easier, more enjoyable, and fruitful in the end for those who decide to partake.
SPEAKER_00:Kick off talking about why do you love talking about money? What is your background in money?
SPEAKER_01:Well, I'm an engineer by trade, and I stumbled into a money conversation because my husband and I found ourselves in over$60,000 in debt when we got married in our early 20s. And then that increased when we had kids. Of course, they add they are expensive, and we wanted more, you know, safer, reliable vehicles. And that brought our debt total up to about 90 grand. And so in the first five years of our relationship, we committed to getting free of all$90,000 in debt. And because that required us to really understand what we were trying to do and how to do that as a team, those conversations, even when there was tension around them, we were really wanting to make that a high priority in our relationship, especially since most relationships, when they're having challenges, the causes a lot of tension in relationships is that money matter. And so we did not want that to be our story. And um, we wanted obviously to end up, you know, staying married for a lifetime. And so we worked on the hardest thing, honestly. And um, so far it's paid off. 27 years married and no debt to speak of right now.
SPEAKER_00:I heard you say that key word tension, that there were times that there were tension when you talked about it. Why do you think couples find it so difficult to talk about money?
SPEAKER_01:There's a lot of reasons. One is we make our money, we want to hold on to our money, we feel like it's ours, like mine, versus ours being a team effort in terms of how we manage the money. And then another reason why people tend to not want to discuss it is embarrassment, shame, regret, remorse over the things that they've done with their money. And they just really don't want to disclose that. So when we're thinking about sharing credit reports, for instance, um, what is on there, debt amounts, things like that, or even our daily behavior, sometimes it's embarrassing. And I think another reason why we don't talk about it is because we really want to feel independent. We don't want to have to answer to somebody about our numbers. And so I think with couples, that can just create tension on many different levels. Um, there's also just income inequalities, right? And so one person may make substantially more than the other and that kind of thing. And so it causes a power disparity potentially. And so there can be a myriad of reasons why people don't want to talk about money. I like to make the conversation easier by not even talking about today's issues with money and starting with our money past and what we learned growing up and what we did with money when we first started making it and what we witnessed in our um families of origin. And so when we go back into our past, that tends to make the conversation less accusatory and more informational around this is how I was made, I was built, this is what I learned. And understanding can begin there. So that's typically that's honestly, I'll be honest, I learned that by watching hundreds of clients um struggle with money conversations and realizing that it's so much less intrusive to just talk about how you were raised and your first interactions with money. And so that can be a gateway into having more challenging or deep conversations around the subject.
SPEAKER_00:So how do you start that conversation? If somebody's listening and they're thinking, okay, this is going to be empowering for me, how do you, what are those first words? How do you start that conversation?
SPEAKER_01:It honestly depends on where you are in the relationship, right? And how much trust has been built. Um, and people know that for themselves. They know if the conversation needs to begin with um, how much do you tip and tell me more about, you know, what makes you do that, um, to deeper conversations around, you know, your money past and what your parents taught you and as a child, what you saw in terms of your family structure. Um, so for instance, it's easy for me to talk about the fact that I came from a single parent household and how challenging it was for my mother to really just make ends meet. And so while we lived in the suburbs, um we didn't necessarily have all the things that everybody else around me had. Um, she just wanted to ensure that there was a safe environment. And when someone knows that about me, then they can understand what why frugality has has become so important to me or um my hesitancy to spend larger sums of money. Because frankly, those were not things. I mean, we we had to be frugal, we had to wait till payday, we um didn't have extra sums of money, there wasn't um frivolous spending of any sort. And so that is essentially how I was built. And so um, when when my husband can understand that, then he can, you know, talk with me, walk with me, work with me in regards to that in a more loving and understanding way. And so I know that he can handle that conversation. Whereas, you know, on your sick second date, like I don't think that's necessarily gonna happen, but I do think um, as more trust is built, the deeper conversations can be had. And so it can begin with a conversation around tipping, it can begin around the type of work that you have. It can start with your first job as a young person and what that meant to you and what you did with those funds. Um, I just think sometimes it's really easier to make it lighthearted than super deep and see where those conversations go. I do, however, think you need to set some ground rules. I I always like to say when we're talking about money, just say, hey, there's no judgment here. Um, and you want to listen more than you talk if if the questions are being um posed by you? And so so I think, you know, making sure that it's a safe space is really important, especially when you haven't had conversations like this before.
SPEAKER_00:So thinking back in your own situation, I want to talk a little bit about money personalities. Would you say that you and your husband had the same money personality? And then how big a role do different money personalities play in having those conversations?
SPEAKER_01:Well, first they play a huge role because no two people are alike. We're all unique and our experiences are unique, and what we bring to the table is also unique. And so I think it's important to respect different money personalities. Now, I'll just speak on two of them. One is a saver and a spender. Um, early on, I was the saver. I just really wanted to ensure that my future was gonna be secure. Um I had fear, not really anxiety, but I just had concern that if I didn't save enough, like I knew that nobody would else would be able to take care of me. I had I was not a trust fund kid. Like there was no money coming my way, right? Um, when my parents made their transition. And so I I needed to know that I could take care of myself. And so I was a saver. My husband is a spender, he just likes nicer things, if you will. And so when we first got together, um, he would be the one whose wardrobe was way more expensive than mine. He would be the one who um didn't hesitate to to spend money on different things. Whereas I always hesitated and I always felt like I needed to um to wait and sleep on those conversations around bigger picture items. And and now sometimes I find that it didn't depends on what it is. I'm definitely more of a spender when it comes to clothing and shopping, and I love travel now. Um, and there are certain things that he's more frugal on, and he's like, it's not worth it to me to spend money on that. And so um I have found that it's different areas for different people. Um, and we both enjoy, you know, we think it's really important to save for our future. And so we definitely online on that. Um, but I think, you know, in terms of those two major personalities, I think we flip-flop a little bit. We started in one area, and I think over time um we've rubbed off on each other a little bit. And so while that can be good, we just, you know, we make sure that our savings is on autopilot. So nothing that we do is going to derail that progress. But yeah, money personalities can change. And I think a lot of times for people, it's broader. It can be broader than um just a spender or a saver. I think it can be even more nuanced than that. Um, but when you understand who you are, it helps other people to understand you a little bit better too.
SPEAKER_00:When I think of those money personalities, and especially when they're the opposite, like you said, the spender, the saver. I picture a seesaw and that struggle to find balance. You've got one person way up here, you know, being dominant. I want to save. Then you've got somebody, then they're up in the air. No, I want to be the spender. But it's almost like trying to find that that perfect balance, like you can with the seesaw, right? But kids don't even know what that feels like anymore. They don't play on the playground. So one of the keywords that you talked about earlier is trust, right? Building that trust in a relationship. How big a role is transparency? Because, you know, we want to have our independence and we want to have that connecting unit, but how can you have that connecting unit remain independent, but be transparent?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I honestly do think for a long time, I'll be honest, for a long time I thought one checking account, one saving account, no no secrets, right? Like I was of the camp of everything in one pot. Um, and in some regards, that works for people. And for others, it doesn't. Some people need more autonomy uh for their finances themselves, as long as there's no secrets, right? So for instance, I have for some of my clients, um, because now that you know I've been a financial coach for 20 years, I've worked with hundreds of different people, and um, obviously all people are different and and unique circumstances can arise. But I also think autonomy is a huge deal. And so sometimes it's yours, mine, ours, as long as yours and mine are not hidden. And so, in budgeting, practically speaking, sometimes it turns into we are designating this dollar amount to go into each of our accounts, our separate accounts, but the rest of it goes to the household unit, right? And they can determine how much it is that stays in separate accounts so that they don't have to justify their Starbucks latte or they don't have to justify going out to um golf with the fellas or whatever it is. It is really, I set aside, we both agree to what these dollar amounts amounts are that are in these potential separate accounts. Um and so, for instance, so we don't necessarily my husband and I don't have separate checking accounts. However, he does have his play money. We call it his play money, and he just takes it out the bank every or out the credit union every, you know, two weeks. And it builds up. And so one day he was like, I want to go get a bike. And I was like, okay. And you know, my husband doesn't do anything small, nothing at all. And so I was like, okay, how much is that? And I mean, it wasn't an I mean, it was over a thousand dollar bike. And I'm thinking, are you serious right now? And it was Christmas time, and I'm thinking, really, right now. And he's like, Don't worry, I got my play money that I've been setting aside. And, you know, so come with me and let's look at these bikes and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, okay. So a part of me relaxed tremendously that that knew, like, he's not gonna be so spontaneous that he wants to just spend a thousand dollars or whatever it was in the heat of the moment. He had been pl saving for months, actually. Um, and he had those dollars. And so that works for him. Me, I don't think I have in our 27-year relationship spent a thousand dollars on any one thing unless it was a gift he gave me or something like that. Like, that's not, I'll spend it on travel, but I'm not, I don't think I have anything. Not a purse, not nothing, anything that's not even my bike. I'm like, but he knows I think it works for both of us because in the budget, we have this line item. And then he also just saves it and he doesn't spend money a lot, but when he does, it's like a big punch, right? So he'll buy a suit and it's$500, but he has his money that he's been setting aside. So I think that um it that can work for people and it reduces stress around the question, can we afford it? It really is, I set money aside already, or I have money in this account that we've already discussed, and I just want to make this decision, and then it's it just reduces any of the anxiety that could potentially come.
SPEAKER_00:You have to ask that you did he get the bike and did you ride it? Does it feel like a thousand dollars when your hair is blowing in the wind?
SPEAKER_01:I listen, I do not ride that. I ride my bike that is six hundred dollars. He got his bike and he enjoys it, and he's had it for several years. I mean, he he enjoys his bike. Um, so hey, more power to him, but I just didn't think I needed to spend that kind of money. So I got something that was like half the price.
SPEAKER_00:So in a perfect world, all these stories would win, like what would you know, end up like this. But we know we don't live in that perfect world. So at what point should a couple recognize that they need maybe some outside help, maybe like a professional financial counselor?
SPEAKER_01:That's so good. Um, and I think people can go to a count a professional financial counselor, coach, therapist, or just a coach, therapist, counselor who isn't specific to money. Here's why. Because if communication is broken down, this is one sign. You have a hard time just talking about money, the bills that are due, um, the goals that you have, and you need a safe space to be able to do so, that mediary could be that person. And it likely this is not the only area. Finances may not be the only area in which the conversations are difficult between you. Um, obviously, trust, where you just don't believe that they are going to do or say what they, you know, it just the follow-through just isn't there. Um, so for instance, if bills aren't getting paid on time, um, if debt is racking up, those kinds of warning signs. Um and, you know, I also think if specifically if you are looking, if you're needing a financial counselor, I would say if you have goals that you've been trying to reach and you just haven't been able to get there, right? So something is in the way. There's some, it could just be tension in your relationship with money or in the way that you are, your methodology around how you're trying to do it, or you can't agree on what it looks like to achieve these financial goals. That's, I think, when you need a financial professional to help you. Um, and you've been circling that same mountain for a couple of years. Um, so we're wasting time if we continue to circle the same mountain. And so I would encourage you to seek the help of a professional if that is the case. Um, and I think there's no shame in that. I I applaud, admire, and respect anyone who understands where they are not 100% strong in to get stronger with the help of someone else. And so um take that as a sign, communication, trust. Um, those are the biggies. Um, but if you are still circling goals for a long time.
SPEAKER_00:I know you work a lot with couples. I do too, but I think you see a lot more couples than I do. Early on in relationships, how early in a relationship, even somebody that's not married, should those couples start having those conversations? What are the things that you should be looking for in your partner financially in terms of is this a good fit? Are we going to be able to balance this seesaw? It's okay that we're opposites, but what are those things that we should be looking for?
SPEAKER_01:That's a really good question. So one thing that I'll say about a spender and a saver is that it is best, to be honest, if there's one of each in the relationship, because the spender helps you have fun, okay? And the saver makes sure you have a future. So both of them, it would be great to have both of them in a relationship. So um when people are dating, you can begin to tell if they're just as a free spirit as you are, right? If they don't care anything about the future, if um, in terms of saving for it, they live for the moment. Um, but you know if I start, I I honestly think just start paying attention first. Like literally just start looking at their behaviors and habits. Um, do they keep cash on the hand? Um, are they always, you know, reducing reducing what it is that they do because they don't have the funds to do so? Um, are they overspending? Are or are they, you know, people who like all of the nicer things? I mean, there can be lots of things to be watching out for, even before you begin having conversations.
SPEAKER_00:And so I'll switch gears just a little bit. We've been talking a lot about couples and just the tension that couples have when they're talking about money, but we know often they're children. And sometimes, you know, you laughed and we talked about in the beginning that how expensive children can be. And so just the expensive cost and things that add to a family dynamic, but children need to learn about money too. And so, how can we have those conversations with our children? When should we even start to have conversations with children?
SPEAKER_01:I think the biggest thing that we can do with our kids, excuse me, I think the biggest thing that we can do with our kids is let them witness what we do. They will model what they see people doing. So talk to them in and honestly, you know, if they're less than three or four, they're not paying enough attention, their attention span is very short. But let's just talk about a five-year-old, a six-year-old, someone, I mean, they are very attentive and they love learning, especially when it's not the formal kind of learning, right? And so you can have conversations about, you know, using your debit card and what it takes. Like, I mean, it's very common for parents to say, make sure you close the refrigerator, you know, like that's electricity right there. Help them to understand it. It is, it is, right? Um, turn the light off when you're done, right? And so these kinds of things are like tying it to money. Now, we don't want them to be overly worried about every single thing that thing that they do. But by the time they begin to be 11, 12, 13, they fully understand that they are connected because you've been having this conversation. One of the biggest things that misses that I see pe parents make is trying to protect their kids from the places where parents have made mistakes or tripped over themselves or done things that they wish they had not with money, they don't say it to their kids. And so they're they're shielding them from real life. And and what I think is a challenge for kids now is to understand that everything isn't going to be perfect, right? And um incomes vary, life situations vary, where you live has a cost to it. And I think as they get older, it is important to have age-appropriate conversations with them around what that looks like. And by the time a child is 15 or 16, they should know what a carved vehicle costs, right? And they should know um what it takes, right, to maintain that vehicle. So one of the biggest lessons that we taught our kids at that age is you, we, first of all, you're getting your license, you will have a vehicle so you can take yourself to and from all the places. Um, and we'll pay for half of that car. You save up your money and we will match what you save. And so our first daughter got a car that was$3,800 because she saved$1,900. Um, and our second daughter got a car that was$5,600 and she saved half of that. And so, and that pride in ownership is huge for young people. And so they treat that those vehicles better. Um, they named their cars. Um, they were sad. I mean, frankly, my oldest, she did hit the house and she lost her rear view mirror, her side mirror, rather. Um, and she learned how to put it back on because my husband helped her to find a mirror to put on and taught her how to put it on. And these things are important, right? And getting a car wash and putting gas in the car. And so, but it was a progression. I mean, we we taught work and reward at young ages. Um, so between the ages of five and 10 for sure, um, you you do chores and you get paid um for those things. And so I think it's important that we make it a part of life, not all of life, but a part of life um all throughout and don't wait into this magic number. 12 is not the magic number. Um, if a if a child is learning at 12 and they have never heard of what it means to have a debit card or what money looks like in their hand, that kind of stuff. I mean, it's it's it's a larger uphill swing, right? But if you start younger, um, I think that that can be beneficial. But there's lots of ways, books even, I mean, we've read books with our kids, we've had um, you know, watch videos and things like that just to sprinkle in um educational opportunities at home because frankly, they don't get it, you know, around money in school for a long time. It's not really till high school that they really start talking about money for real.
SPEAKER_00:And so, you know, we're talking about how do you have those conversations, but I do want to take a minute and say, how do we actually show them? For example, I remember my dad always talked about saving and that you should do it, right? That's talking the talk. But how do you actually sit down and really show your kids what saving money looks like so that they can really pick that up as a habit? And obviously, the earlier they develop that habit, the better off they will be in anybody that learns that particular habit.
SPEAKER_01:Well, it can start with something that they're interested in, right? So Barbie dolls are not cheap, right? So if you want a Barbie house or whatever it is, I mean, if that thing is$50 and you have been giving them, you know, their work and reward, right? So they had a chore, chores that they were doing over time and they are setting aside$5 a week or whatever it is, I think that that can be an easy way to help them understand how to save for something they want. Um, frankly, a lot of young people can't really have accounts necessarily until they're, you know, teenager-ish, you know, age. But I think up until that point, it'd be great to save it in cash, um, put it in envelopes, have it at the house, let them literally feel the money in their hands for what they desire. I'd like for young people to learn to give, save, and spend, and they have three envelopes, you know, and we've our our society has gotten away from cash. But I think it's kids are so visual and they need that. And so I think having, you know, ensuring that each time that they earn dollars, that they put some in each one of those envelopes. And we actually painted little piggy banks. We made little boxes for their give, save, spend. Um, and you can capitalize on making it fun at young ages. It's when they get to be teenagers and they're able to actually have accounts that um making it maybe automatic or putting a portion of their, you know, lawn mowing dollars into savings makes it real. But I think it's important that um we start with that physical$5,$1 in hand for them to actually connect with the fact that it's money. Because once we start introducing debit cards and virtual money on a phone and all that kind of stuff, I mean, um, the connection to how real it is and its finality really, um, sometimes get lost, even with adults. So I I like to say for younger, for the younger population, they need to have the dollars in hand.
SPEAKER_00:I agree. I was gonna, I was gonna make that same comment that not only is it important for children to have that connection, but I think even for adults, you know, if you talk to an adult, they'll tell you it's a lot harder to part with a physical$20 bill than it is to swipe that debit card for$20. And so sometimes cash as king really, really can have a role. So earlier we talked a little bit about, you know, instinctively as parents, we want to shield our kids from all the negative stuff. But at the same time, we want them to know the reality of life, right? That sometimes there's gonna be ups and downs with money. So, how do you find that balance between keeping them shielded to where they're not sleeping, you know, having sleepless nights, like, oh, how's the light bill gonna get paid? How am I gonna pay for my prom dress? But also letting them understand that sometimes it's give and take, and sometimes we just don't have enough money to purchase everything that they want.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I think we have to really pay attention to our money messages. So um it's important to have age-appropriate money messages, right? And so it there's something to be said for saying we don't have the money versus we need to figure out how to put that in the budget for next month. Or uh, and so these are messages that we hear. I heard um we're broke, wait till payday, you know, we don't have the money. I heard those things over and over and over again. Um and those get deeply ingrained. And so I like to say, let's create a plan, let's figure out how we can, let's see if this is important, does this fit into our goals, those kinds of things versus we don't have it. Um, and so shifting the language is important. But also the other thing is some things you say and some things you don't. Like we're not necessarily telling them how much we make annually, right?
SPEAKER_00:Like, not everybody, right?
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. So my kids, they our kids didn't know um how much we made until we started having the FAFSA conversations for college. Like they might had have had an idea, but it wasn't until they were like 18 that they actually started realizing what it was concretely, right? And so But prior to that, that wasn't a conversation that we had. Now we I have shown them electric bills. I have also shown them, like we've we played games all the time with groceries, you know, um, and let them see how much things cost at the grocery store. That's such an easy way to help people help your children connect with money. Um and and then there were times when they were young, I said, all right, you both have$100. I want you to write on paper which dining out places you want to go to and how much you would spend at these places. And so for 30 days, we just did that. Um, they led the way, right? With where we decided to go dining out. And it it caused them to read that caused them to say, I love Chick-fil-A, but what I really want is their shake. Like I'm not necessarily interested in everything else because if I do that for the whole family at the time was going to be over$30,$40 just to go to Chick-fil-A. And so she was like, hold on. Are we good if we just, if, if me and my sister get shakes, do y'all care? You know what I mean? Like they were like critically leading. Exactly. And so th that made a difference, right? Um and so, and there are exercises like when my daughter did get a, you know, a debit card when she was in a teenager and she didn't realize how much getting cookies and snacks and stuff at school was adding up. And so we sat down one day and I added it up and I said, I want you to tell me how much you think you've spent on snacks just at school for 30 days. And she said, Oh, probably$10. And then when we added it up, it was over$30, almost$40. And she was like, She no idea, right? Um, but it makes sense. If you're at school 20 days out of the month and she's spending two bucks a day, like she just for her, she just thought it was so much less. And so that was a reality check for her. And so I just think that we can weave these conversations in um and know that the one, they don't have to know how much your investments are. They don't have to know um how much debt in total that you're in. Um, but I think my kids were along the journey when we, well, I should say my oldest was along the journey when we were getting out of debt and we celebrated when we were out of debt. She didn't know how much it was, but she was, you know, six years old when we got out of debt. And we celebrated, we let her know, like, we're done with debt. We don't have any. And she was like, so mommy, it's debit. We we like debit, not debt. And yes, she she had that in her mindset. So um her, she wasn't afraid of the conversation around us being in debt. We learned to show her, hey, we are, we have a plan. And so this is the plan in terms of we have a specific amount for dining out or for toys or whatever. And when that money is done, it's done because we are our goal is to get free of debt. And so she was along that journey. Again, we didn't tell her how much it was at the time, and we didn't, you know, make her feel like she couldn't. We just had healthy boundaries around what we could say yes to while we were on that journey.
SPEAKER_00:And so I want to talk a little bit just about the benefits of financial counseling, because of course, sometimes those conversations can be difficult. And no matter what end of the spectrum you're on, you know, you have two people talking, but they're just not able to come on the same page. And it may not necessarily even be that there's a financial difficulty, but financial coaching, free good financial counseling can really be impactful and beneficial. So talk a little bit about how important it is, whether you're in a financial crisis or if you just want to make sure that you're doing the right thing, how important financial coaching can be in someone's life.
SPEAKER_01:Well, it's it can be really helpful because we don't know what we don't know, right? We all have blind spots. We all have places that um we can't see because they're behind us or what have you. And a coach, a good counselor can help bring that to the forefront. Um, they can say, have you thought about this? They have great questions that help you to ponder, you know, really all of your life choices, right? So, so a good counselor can help bring to light things that we either suppress or we've never really thought about, or we're scared to confront. I also think that a great counselor coach will create an environment where it's safe enough to say what you may not have been able to say to your partner outside of that space or to divulge. Um, I had a woman come to me one time and she said, I've got$25,000 in debt and I have not told my spouse. And that is why he isn't here because I haven't shared that with him yet. And I said, Well, and I coached her through what it looked like to have this conversation with him and um what made it so important for her to share that. And and I also needed to understand a bit more about his mentality and where this concern and fear came from. We definitely don't want retaliation or anything like that. And and I believe she had a safe space at home. It's just she just was living in her own shame. And again, a coach can kind of assess that. I felt empowered. Um, and we together realized that it's because the dollars that we set aside for, you know, groceries, the kids, and all that was not enough. And I would overspend on credit, and it is just built this up. And so we're reworking things together. And so um her feeling that empowerment is came from a conversation with the coach. And so my hope is that anytime you go to a third party, be it a therapist, counselor, coach, whatever, that in fact you are a better human walking away. Like you feel enlightened, you feel lighter, you have more ideas. Um, you feel like you can go do that very next thing, whatever it is concerning your finances. If you feel defeated, sad, um, still remorseful, carrying a lot of shame and guilt, something is amiss. And it's okay to find a different person. Um, but I think that the benefits outweigh the the feeling of hesitation or concern you might have on what will be divulged, because I think it's important that um we live in a space of honesty, even with ourselves, right? And um, if we have people who are skilled in being able to help people in this area, um, it's a just a win-win for everyone.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. I mean, I think that key thing is, like you said, having that open communication. You made a really, really good point earlier is that sometimes we just don't know what we know. It was actually when you were talking about your daughter, that made me think so many of our clients, when we, you know, see people for our blueprint for financial success, they come in and they think, oh, I've only been spending$200 a month on this. And then they realize after going through financial counseling that, oh, I've been spending$500. And just bringing that awareness can bring about change, can make a big, big difference. And so I really think it is such an important part of having those conversations. If you can't have them on your own, then seek somebody that can definitely provide that service for you. So, Erica, share with our listeners how they can reach out to you, what you can do for them as we wrap up.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. So you can find me on all the social platforms, Erica Young Official on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook. You can also um tune in to our podcast for better and worth. My husband and I um have, as our empty nester phase approached, we decided to jump in and do a podcast of our own where we talk about the intersection between relationships and money and um having conversations that, you know, help you have that relationship, but also build wealth. And um so, but the work that I do is largely financial education, training and development. I love helping other coaches up level their skill sets. Um, that is primarily the work that I'm into, as well as working with financial institutions, specifically credit unions, ensure that um their internal teams are well equipped to help people around coaching as well as financial education. So Erica Young officials, the best way to find me. And then on my website, uh EricaYoung.com is where you can get more information about what that looks like.
SPEAKER_00:Well, thank you so much. We'll have to continue this conversation, and maybe next time I'll come and join you on your podcast. Let's go. All right, thank you, Erica.
SPEAKER_02:Thanks for having me. It's time for blueprint building blocks. Small changes that lead to big financial wins. Let's stack up for success.
SPEAKER_00:Start the conversation. Whether with your partner or your kids, choose one small money topic to talk about this week. Keep it simple and judgment free. Set a rhythm, schedule those regular check-ins with your spouse or your partner about money. Even 15 minutes once a week can make a huge difference. And then teach your kids by example. Kids learn by watching. Let them see you budget, save, or even talk through a purchase decision.
SPEAKER_02:That's a wrap on today's Blueprint Building Blocks. Stay on track with your financial journey. Subscribe to the Money Matters Podcast, and visit neighborsfcu.org slash financial wellness for more tools to help you build a strong financial future.
